Second Chance - Chocolate Butter Biscuit

The second since broke up, I threw out all his stuff. Deleted all the pics in my phone. But memory is still there. It hurts to breathe when Im thinking about he not being my life anymore. How much I wish my brain is like a computer, just click the button then everything is gone. However, a break up is like a broken mirror. It is better to leave it broken than hurt yourself to fix it.

Today I made chocolate butter biscuit. The first gift he gave to me is chocolate.  We started dating during Thanksgiving. He went to Chicago for black friday and brought me chocolate. He took me to a lab and we sat in the ceiling. It's just me and him and stars like a romantic movie. All of a sudden,  i thought that is my destiny, he is my destiny. But it is not anymore. I feel like I had a long long dream, the more sweet the dream is, the more sad I am when i wake up.

INGREDIENTS
4 tps of butter
1/2 cup of flour
1/2 large egg (or 30g yolk)
4 tps of sugar
1 tps of dark chocolate

Preheat oven to 350F

Melt butter. Put it in a medium bowl and add sugar. Beat at high speed to dissolve sugar.

Gradually add the beaten egg into the mixture and keep beating at high speed until ribbons form.
Add flour into the mixture and stir to blend until you get a dough
Cut the dough into pieces
Melt the chocolate and put it into one of the doughs. Then stir to blend.
Use the dough roller to make the chocolate dough a rectangle
Do the same thing to the regular butter dough 
Put the chocolate rectangle dough on top of the other rectangle dough
Gradually roll them up from the left side
Put the dough into refrigerator for 30 mins.
Cut the dough into several little pieces. (abt 0.3cm each)
Put them into the pan and bake about 15 minutes until it turns to be golden brown. Let cool.

I tried twice. For the first time, i failed. I cried like I couldnt do anything without him. But then i know i have to move on and try again. No matter how many times i cry, he wont be back. He already left. That is the end of the story. But it doesnt matter, I will get up and get out of this darkness eventually. “Some people are like clouds. When they go away, it's a beautiful day”.

First Thing First - Creamy Fruit Tart

It’s the first day since we broke up. I woke up with tears. I felt my heart paused when you told me you were over me and you had a crush on someone else. We’ve been together for more than a year. We’ve been through happiness, sadness, highs and lows. But “love comes so slow and it goes so fast”. I realized at this point, I have nothing to do but let it go. Baking is the way hopefully will help me regain my confidence. At least for now I cant focus on anything but baking.

Today,  I baked fruit tarts. Our story started in a potluck party where I brought my homemade egg tarts. You and all your friends loved them. And egg tart is still my signature pastry by far. So I guess I have to end it at where we started. Instead of egg tart, I made strawberry tart with both sweet and sour tastes inside like my feeling now.

INGREDIENTS

Crust:

1 and 2/3 cups of self-rising flour

7 tps of butter

30ml of water

Filling:

8tps of cheese cream

1 large egg

6 tps of sugar

1 box of strawberry

Crust:

Preheat oven to 375F

Cut the butter into little pieces (don’t melt it).

Finely mix the butter and flour in a food processor.

Gradually add water into the crumb mixture and stir to blend

Use hand to make the mixture a dough.

Put the dough into refrigerator for 40 mins.

Cut the dough into 6 pieces.

Pack each dough onto bottom and up sides metal pie pans or a cupcake pan. (spray the baking oil first to prevent it from sticking on the pan)

Bake about 15 minutes until it turns to be golden brown. Let cool.

Filling:

Preheat oven to 300F

Melt cheese cream. Put it in a medium bowl and add sugar. Beat at high speed to dissolve sugar.

Gradually add the beaten egg into the mixture and keep beating at high speed until ribbons form.

Cut the strawberries into 2 to 3 pieces and evenly put them into the cooled crusts.

Scrape filling into cooled crust. smooth top.

Bake about 35 minutes until the filling is solid. Chill for 30 mins.

Topping:

Cut the strawberries into 3 to 4 pieces and put them over the filling.

To be honest it didn’t taste as good as I expected. My friend said it tastes a little too salty. Sometimes I guess it has nothing to do with the recipe but the feeling. If you cry, your pastry will taste like tears as well. But it’s ok. I know one day Ill move on. One day there will be a person who will wipe my tears and make my pastry sweet again.

“Pain is expected but suffering is optional.”

PS. The recipe is originally from 君之博客http://blog.sina.com.cn/s/blog_4a5089ff0100krcc.html